What Sara Wheeler is doing is not seemingly a desire to betray the Gay community, as it is fighting for her rights as a mother! Self-interest trumps ideology almost every time!
I remember many years ago, when I was Chairman of the Sociology Department, there were two "radical" feminists, who spoke frequently and intensely about women's rights and "sisterhood." Both of them were on temporary appointments, and the rule of the university at that time was that no temporary faculty member could remain for more than three years. After one of the women had been there for three years, she asked that I recommend her for a fourth year. I told her that I would do my best, but if I succeeded, it would be the last possible year she could work there. I did get a fourth year for her. After the fourth year, she, again, asked to be continued on as a faculty member on a temporary appointment, and I told her that not only was that impossible, but that, by my doing so, it would prevent the other woman from being able to continue working there, and she had been there for a shorter time. The first woman said, "I still want to be put up for an additional year." This desire on her part was based on naked self-interest at the clear expense of another person! So much for "sisterhood," I thought to myself!
When it comes to self-interest, rhetoric usually flies out the window! That's why, in order to enhance the reality of full and equal civil rights for LGBT people, others must see that their own self-interest will be benefited by the acquisition of those rights for LGBT people! Hence, such tactics as systematic boycotts of homophobic businesses; speeches and writings against churches that discriminate against LGBT people; leaving such churches; letters and writings in assorted venues pointing out the contradictions between Jesus' command to us to love others versus the reality of most in the organized Church, through rhetoric and/or silence in the face of hateful rhetoric, advocating denial of civil and sacramental rights to LGBT people; making it well known that LGBT people and allies and all decent people will not vote for any politician who seeks to deny others civil rights, by publicly embarrassing those politicians as practicing a "politics of hate" and building their careers on hate; seeking to make the scapegoating and demonization of any group by any public figure subject to criminal penalties as inciting hateful actions, including bashing and murders.
These tactics, and others like them, require organization, coordination of various organizations, commitment of the participants, and a fire in the belly to have full civil and sacramental rights for LGBT people in the forseeable future!